User namePassword 

 Print this Issue Home  •  Archive  •  About Us  •  Contact  •  Advertise  •  Merchandise Subscribe  •  Free Trial
Sir Terence O'Rort
10 July, 2007  
An audience with Lord Eldon

Now that the Brisvegas Bar n’ Grill’s organ Hearsay is online we can catch-up with Lord Eldon’s antidote to Relevance Deprivation Syndrome

Thank goodness for Martin Daubney SC, the current El Presidente of the Brisvegas Bar n’ Grill.

Although the Daubster had tiny blood spatters on his robe when he assumed the crown after Lyons QC imploded (see earlier report) he has had a splendid reign, so far.

imageOne of the innovations introduced by the Daubster is the launch online of the Grill’s organ Hearsay.

Now the rest of us can catch-up on what we’ve been missing, including lots of pictures of the Daubster crooning (pic), reciting poetry, more singing, being nice to Daphnis and even more snaps than Kevin Rudd can muster on a good day.

Even better, Hearsay has a section called “In the Prism” in which various Brisvegan Bar n’ Grill worthies are profiled.

Naturally the thoughts of the self-effacing Lord Eldon, trading as Anthony J.H. Morris QC, caught my eye. Eldon could well have been suffering a bout of Relevance Deprivation Syndrome following his beheading by language monitor Marty Moynihan (see earlier O’Rort report), so his latest outing in the Prism comes as welcome therapy.

Can I share with you a few of the gems?

Question: What is your idea of earthly happiness?

Answer: A winter’s day at Point Lookout; light rain falling on the corrugated iron roof; a good book and a mug of hot chocolate; my wife at my side, and Horatio (our loyal Saint Bernard) at my feet.

image[Readers will recall the central role played by Horatio (pictured with His Lordship in bottom position) in Lord Eldon’s emotional development and of the tragic death of Rosamunda (another hound) at Point Lookout in distressing circumstances. It seems unlikely that a book, a mug of chocolate or Lady Eldon have much hope of getting between the man and his beast.]

Question: What could you not live without?

Answer: Self-respect.

Question: What is your greatest indulgence?

Answer: Accepting interesting pro bono briefs to the exclusion of well paid but boring commercial work.

[Evidence of Eldon’s (pic) pro bono spirit emerged during the Bundaberg Hospital inquiry, where he generously imagereduced his fees to $5,000 a day so that the he could nail the unhygienic Dr Patel.]

Question: Which skill or talent would you most like to have?

Answer: I am not greedy, so there is no single skill or talent which I covert. Given the choice between the following, I would tick “any of the above”: to bat as well as Matthew Hayden; to play the piano as well as Daniel Barenboim; to play tennis as well as Roger Federer; to play the violin as well as Yasha Heifetz; to be as good as architect and designer as Alvar Aalto; to compose symphonies as well as Josef Haydn; to write as well as William Shakespeare; to know (almost) as much law as Robert Bain.

[No whiff of competitive over-achievement there.]

Question: What is your most marked characteristic?

Answer. A lack of marked characteristics.

[Except for a strong sense of self-respect.]

Question: Which words or expressions do you most over-use?

Answer: Generally I over-use Latinate words to the exclusion of Anglo-Saxon. The specifics change from time to time. Current favourites include: tergiversate, rodomontade, tendentious.

[Conveniently the words “rodomontade” and “tergiversate” appear at pages 66 and 74 of The Superior Person’s Little Book of Words by Peter Bowler (1979) so we can all look them up.]

Question: How would you like to be remembered?

Answer: As someone who always did his best, and achieved more good than harm.

Bravo for Lord Eldon.

Sir Terence O’Rort reporting